By 5 am I gave up on sleeping and decided to stop trying. I stayed in bed for another hour and daydreamed before getting up. I was ready to go at 6:30.
Maria and I had breakfast in the hotel. I knew I wouldn't feel like eating but I managed to consume half a bagel and half a banana. Then we killed time, went back to the room, hung out in the lobby. My polygraph appointment wasn't until 8:15 and my map app said it was a 6 minute drive away.
At 7:30 I requested an Uber for 7:45. A driver accepted my request, then he got lost and drove by the hotel twice. It was 7:55 when he picked me up. Then traffic was kinda bad. I was stressed out but there was nothing I could do about it. So that made me less stressed, in a weird way. Like if your plane is gonna crash and you're at peace with it because you're not the pilot.
I was about 5 minutes late anyways. The uber cost like $10. I went through security and was escorted to the CBP floor by a security guard. Then I met with my polygrapher guy! I liked him immediately, he was professional and kind. He asked if I got enough sleep last night (not really), if I had eaten enough breakfast (nope), and if anything traumatic happened to me recently (yeah my fucking hamsters died last week). Stuff to see if I was mentally/emotionally unprepared. I was honest and he didn't find my hamsters deaths a concern so we went on.
I don't want to go into the details of the polygraph. I didn't sign anything saying it was confidential, I just don't want to talk about it. I was there from 8:30 am until 2:20 pm. I was hooked up to the poly and asked questions for maybe 15 or 20 minutes total. We mostly talked. It was very stressful and I had anxiety the entire time but he said that was totally normal and he never tried to stress me out more. He calmed me down a lot actually. Going into this I thought I would fail. The statistics I had read were against me. Then my examiner gave me the correct stats and it was worse than I thought. Less than 15% pass.
Anyways I failed. I got flagged on two questions: drug use and contact with terrorists. One I admitted to prior to starting the test but I kept getting flagged anyways, and the other one I denied. I'll let you guess which is which.
As much as I don't believe in the science behind polygraphs, I do believe I was treated fairly by my examiner. I gave a statement afterward about the one offense I admitted to. He suggested I apply again in a year or two as well and that I have a good chance of getting it then.
And that was it. I called an Uber and drove back to the hotel in the rain.
I called/texted my parents to let them know their daughter is a drugged out, friend of Al-Qaeda failure and they were both surprised. Maria was really surprised too.
I thought I would fail and I'm still disappointed. I don't know why. It even hurts my heart to type this now and it's been over 24 hours.
Maria and I left the hotel soon after I got back. Being a failure wasn't gonna stop me from exploring the city. We decided to go to Pike Place Market to drop some fat stacks.
There were a lot of stalls with arts and crafts, flowers, food, all kinds of fun shit. I bought my dad a tiny jar of honey that I could take in my carry on.
Then I passed a cherry stall and got some red wine chocolate covered cherries for my stepmom. God I love shopping for other people.
There were some fish markets too that had the fish out on display in piles of ice. It smelled like... fish.
Someone bought a fish and the people working the stall threw it up in the air and another guy far away caught it in paper to wrap it up in. I guess it was entertaining because a crowd gathered to watch them throw stinky fish. One of the guys carrying ice for the stall pretended to slip in front of us and nearly spilled ice on Maria. I think he was flirting with her, oh ho ho!
We also saw the infamous gum wall from one of the windows. It looked colorful and disgusting!
The market place had 3 levels. The top was the best and the bottom ones were O.K. I guess. Lots of unique shops. There was a magic store but I didn't get anything.
I wanted to go on the ferris wheel and Maria wanted to drink. I figured we could do both so we went to a cool bar near the pier called The Pike. The bartender was super hot so I was glad we choose the drinking route first. I had a beer that was light and crisp, I think it was called Naughty Nellie or something. It cost like $5.
Neither of us had had lunch and it was like almost 4 by now. Feeling buzzed, we left (without the bartender. Sad!) and went to go get food. I made us take a deour to one of my favorite shops in the world.
LUSH.
I haven't been to a Lush store since I was in Vegas. I fricken love Lush man. I got a lemongrass bubble bar and bought Maria one too and called it a belated Christmas gift to her. Then I got my mom a bubble bar too because it really reminded me of her. It's called Karma and smells like patchouli so I think she will like it!
At this point Maria and I are hungry. We decided weeks ago that tonight we would be eating at Cheesecake Factory because I have never been and wanted to go and she really liked the place. Apparently they don't just serve cheesecake. It's an actual restaurant too.
I ordered a pasta dish that sounded weird but good. It was a lot of vegetables like roasted and sun dried tomato, eggplant, broccoli, pine nuts, zucchini...
It was like $15 or whatever. Way overpriced for a meatless dish but it was a big portion and I liked it a lot. There was a fair amount leftover to take back to the hotel.
Then we got cheesecake to go. I got a cookie dough one. I ate a lot of cookie dough after my hamsters died last week (RIP Wolfgang and Knoxy) and now I'm eating it after failing the polygraph. Cookie dough is one of my top 3 favorite foods but if I'm not careful I'm going to associate it with sadness.
Maria and I walked back to the hotel. It rained all day today. We've passed by the same cool looking building a few times now since coming to Seattle. It's this big glass ball looking place with plants inside.
I think it's still being built and not open to the public. There was a lot of construction going on. I liked looking at it.
Once we were back at the hotel we changed into swimsuits and went down to the lobby to soak in the hot tub. It was relaxing. Maria and I hung out and laughed.
It was an early night for us. We went back to the room for good around 7. I took a shower to get the chlorine off. Once I got out of the shower I thought about taking another one. I thought about crying too. I had been holding back tears all day and now was the time to do it. I decided against both and hung out with Maria instead.
We finished off the bottle of wine from yesterday and played games the rest of the night.
Maria and I had breakfast in the hotel. I knew I wouldn't feel like eating but I managed to consume half a bagel and half a banana. Then we killed time, went back to the room, hung out in the lobby. My polygraph appointment wasn't until 8:15 and my map app said it was a 6 minute drive away.
At 7:30 I requested an Uber for 7:45. A driver accepted my request, then he got lost and drove by the hotel twice. It was 7:55 when he picked me up. Then traffic was kinda bad. I was stressed out but there was nothing I could do about it. So that made me less stressed, in a weird way. Like if your plane is gonna crash and you're at peace with it because you're not the pilot.
I was about 5 minutes late anyways. The uber cost like $10. I went through security and was escorted to the CBP floor by a security guard. Then I met with my polygrapher guy! I liked him immediately, he was professional and kind. He asked if I got enough sleep last night (not really), if I had eaten enough breakfast (nope), and if anything traumatic happened to me recently (yeah my fucking hamsters died last week). Stuff to see if I was mentally/emotionally unprepared. I was honest and he didn't find my hamsters deaths a concern so we went on.
I don't want to go into the details of the polygraph. I didn't sign anything saying it was confidential, I just don't want to talk about it. I was there from 8:30 am until 2:20 pm. I was hooked up to the poly and asked questions for maybe 15 or 20 minutes total. We mostly talked. It was very stressful and I had anxiety the entire time but he said that was totally normal and he never tried to stress me out more. He calmed me down a lot actually. Going into this I thought I would fail. The statistics I had read were against me. Then my examiner gave me the correct stats and it was worse than I thought. Less than 15% pass.
Anyways I failed. I got flagged on two questions: drug use and contact with terrorists. One I admitted to prior to starting the test but I kept getting flagged anyways, and the other one I denied. I'll let you guess which is which.
As much as I don't believe in the science behind polygraphs, I do believe I was treated fairly by my examiner. I gave a statement afterward about the one offense I admitted to. He suggested I apply again in a year or two as well and that I have a good chance of getting it then.
And that was it. I called an Uber and drove back to the hotel in the rain.
I called/texted my parents to let them know their daughter is a drugged out, friend of Al-Qaeda failure and they were both surprised. Maria was really surprised too.
I thought I would fail and I'm still disappointed. I don't know why. It even hurts my heart to type this now and it's been over 24 hours.
Maria and I left the hotel soon after I got back. Being a failure wasn't gonna stop me from exploring the city. We decided to go to Pike Place Market to drop some fat stacks.
There were a lot of stalls with arts and crafts, flowers, food, all kinds of fun shit. I bought my dad a tiny jar of honey that I could take in my carry on.
Then I passed a cherry stall and got some red wine chocolate covered cherries for my stepmom. God I love shopping for other people.
There were some fish markets too that had the fish out on display in piles of ice. It smelled like... fish.
"Monk fish" more like "fucking nightmare fish"
Someone bought a fish and the people working the stall threw it up in the air and another guy far away caught it in paper to wrap it up in. I guess it was entertaining because a crowd gathered to watch them throw stinky fish. One of the guys carrying ice for the stall pretended to slip in front of us and nearly spilled ice on Maria. I think he was flirting with her, oh ho ho!
We also saw the infamous gum wall from one of the windows. It looked colorful and disgusting!
Free gum
The market place had 3 levels. The top was the best and the bottom ones were O.K. I guess. Lots of unique shops. There was a magic store but I didn't get anything.
I wanted to go on the ferris wheel and Maria wanted to drink. I figured we could do both so we went to a cool bar near the pier called The Pike. The bartender was super hot so I was glad we choose the drinking route first. I had a beer that was light and crisp, I think it was called Naughty Nellie or something. It cost like $5.
Neither of us had had lunch and it was like almost 4 by now. Feeling buzzed, we left (without the bartender. Sad!) and went to go get food. I made us take a deour to one of my favorite shops in the world.
LUSH.
And I smelled every bathbomb.
I haven't been to a Lush store since I was in Vegas. I fricken love Lush man. I got a lemongrass bubble bar and bought Maria one too and called it a belated Christmas gift to her. Then I got my mom a bubble bar too because it really reminded me of her. It's called Karma and smells like patchouli so I think she will like it!
Here you go mama!
At this point Maria and I are hungry. We decided weeks ago that tonight we would be eating at Cheesecake Factory because I have never been and wanted to go and she really liked the place. Apparently they don't just serve cheesecake. It's an actual restaurant too.
I ordered a pasta dish that sounded weird but good. It was a lot of vegetables like roasted and sun dried tomato, eggplant, broccoli, pine nuts, zucchini...
It was like $15 or whatever. Way overpriced for a meatless dish but it was a big portion and I liked it a lot. There was a fair amount leftover to take back to the hotel.
Then we got cheesecake to go. I got a cookie dough one. I ate a lot of cookie dough after my hamsters died last week (RIP Wolfgang and Knoxy) and now I'm eating it after failing the polygraph. Cookie dough is one of my top 3 favorite foods but if I'm not careful I'm going to associate it with sadness.
Maria and I walked back to the hotel. It rained all day today. We've passed by the same cool looking building a few times now since coming to Seattle. It's this big glass ball looking place with plants inside.
I think it's still being built and not open to the public. There was a lot of construction going on. I liked looking at it.
Once we were back at the hotel we changed into swimsuits and went down to the lobby to soak in the hot tub. It was relaxing. Maria and I hung out and laughed.
It was an early night for us. We went back to the room for good around 7. I took a shower to get the chlorine off. Once I got out of the shower I thought about taking another one. I thought about crying too. I had been holding back tears all day and now was the time to do it. I decided against both and hung out with Maria instead.
We finished off the bottle of wine from yesterday and played games the rest of the night.
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